The Choice That Changes Everything
by hoppingleader
Summary: What if Tris made a different choice? How would things have ended up for her? Everything was going pretty well: quiet and peaceful… normal. But of course, she knew better. She was Divergent. Destiny had something else in mind for her.
1. The Choice

What if Tris chose not to leave Abnegation after all? How would things have ended up for her? Everything was going pretty well: quiet and peaceful… normal. But of course, she knew better. She was Divergent. Destiny had something else in mind for her.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Divergent and anything else related to it. All rights to Veronica Roth and HarperCollins and everyone else who has rights to it.

I probably only own this idea that strays from the original, and there's my laptop. Everything else around me: my parent's or the government's. :D

**Chapter 1**

**The Choice**

On the bus on the way to the Choosing Ceremony, I sit by the window, right beside Caleb, our parents stand in the aisle, holding the railing above their heads and the seats beside them for balance. I stare out blankly before Robert, seated in front of Caleb and beside Susan, snaps a finger in front of me. He smiles gently as he pulls back his arm and shifts to his side to look at me.

"Stop spacing out or you might get lost in it. We can't afford that today, you know," he says with a sly smile. It's a subtle joke we've been sharing the past year; he's always noticed me spacing out and he always teases me about it. At one point, I told him that I like spacing out, what with the Abnegation life we live.

I told him about the story my parents used to read Caleb and me when we were kids, about a girl who looked like me, they said. She wandered around pointlessly and ended up venturing into a hole filled with mysteries. She was lost for a while but find her way back, apparently.

"I know," I reply, "I was just thinking."

"Think all you can, Beatrice. In a few minutes, I doubt you'd still be able to think straight," he smiles one more time and sits up properly again, looking straight ahead. I peer back at the window and realize he was right: the Hub looms above us. Even from this far, the building is awe-worthy with its towering height. I try not to think about it, but I realize that the inevitable is just a few minutes away.

I have to make my choice.

When we get off the bus, I grab Caleb's arm to steady myself. My hands are shaking, compared to his which is as still as it would be. I look up at him and see his plain expression. He has a final decision, but I can't read it. With what he said last night, I couldn't tell, really.

The elevator is crowded, so my father volunteers to give a cluster of Amity our place. Being Abnegation, we climb the stairs instead, along with our fellow faction members. I catch up to Caleb so as not to get lost in the crowd of the gray-clad Abnegation. I hear Susan and Robert's hushed voices somewhere behind us but I do not turn my head towards them, focusing on the steps in front of us instead.

My father holds the door open on the twentieth floor as I crouch a while beside the top of the stairs to rub my aching leg. I don't see Caleb anywhere, but Robert stands behind me to the right, shielding me from the Abnegation piling into the room. Not wanting to inconvenience him, I stand as soon as I notice him and smile at him, walking into the room together.

The room is arranged in concentric circles. On the edges stand the sixteen-year-olds of every faction, arranged in alphabetical order. We are not called members yet; our decisions today will make us initiates, and we will become members if we complete initiation.

Rows of chairs for our families make up the next circle, arranged in five sections, according to faction. The responsibility to conduct the ceremony rotates from faction to faction each year, and this year is Abnegation's. Marcus will give the opening address and read the names in reverse alphabetical order. Caleb will choose before me.

In the last circle are five metal bowls, each one containing a substance that represents each faction: gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor. When Marcus calls us to the center, he will offer us a knife to cut into our hands for the blood we will sprinkle into the faction bowl of our choice.

Before my parents sit down, they stand in front of Caleb and me. My father kisses my forehead and claps Caleb on the shoulder, grinning. "See you soon," he says. Without a trace of doubt.

My mother hugs me, and what little resolve I have left almost breaks. I bite back my tears. Before she pulls away, she turns her head and whispers in my ear, "I love you. No matter what." I frown at her back as she walks away. She knows what I might do. She must know, or she wouldn't feel the need to say that.

Caleb grabs my hand, squeezing my palm so tightly it hurts, but I don't let go. The last time we held hands was at my uncle's funeral, as my father cried. We need each other's strength now, just as we did then. I squeeze his fingers as hard as he is squeezing mine.

Marcus stands at the podium between the Erudite and the Dauntless and clears his throat into the microphone. He gives the speech that must be given in every Choosing Ceremony every year. I feel a buzzing in my ear as I glance at the bowls again. My hand shakes, Caleb steadying me, and I can barely concentrate nor hear what Marcus is saying.

"Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite." That brought me back to reality. Erudite. No chance.

"Those who blamed duplicity created Candor… Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation."

I blame selfishness; I do.

"And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless."

Am not selfless enough? Would I be brave enough?

Erudite. Abnegation. Dauntless. Oh, right. I was Divergent.

… Whatever that meant.

Marcus' speech drags on, but the memory of the aptitude test has crept into my mind at the last minute.

Then the choosing starts. The process seemed fast at first: new name, and constant choices of their home faction… until James Tucker, a Dauntless-born, was called.

He stumbles on his way to the bowls, almost falling to the ground. When he stands in the center, he looks from the Dauntless bowl to the Candor bowl. Flames or glass. Marcus offers him the knife. A quick moment of hesitation before he finally lets his arm go. Glass. Candor. He becomes the first faction transfer this year. Murmurs rise from the Dauntless section, and I stare at the floor. They will see him as a traitor from now on; his family might, too. A space that can't be filled at first, but it won't last. Humans can't last with holes left in them like that. No, the hole will be temporary.

And then it was his turn.

"Caleb Prior," says Marcus. Caleb squeezes my hand one last time, and as he walks away, casts a long look at me over his shoulder. His hands were steady as they accept the knife from Marcus, deft as one presses the knife into the other. Then he stands with blood pooling in his palm, and his lip snags on his teeth.

He breathes out. And then in. And then he holds his hand over the Erudite bowl, and his blood drips into the water, turning it a deeper shade of red.

I hear mutters that lift into outraged cries, glares from the Abnegation directed towards my brother, faction traitor. Smug smiles on the Erudite's faces. I can barely think straight. My brother, my selfless brother, a faction transfer?

My brother, born for Abnegation, _Erudite_?

If Caleb wasn't fit for Abnegation, how can I be?

"Excuse me," says Marcus, but the crowd doesn't hear him. He shouts, "Quiet, please!"

The room goes silent. Except for a ringing in my ear.

I hear my name and a shudder propels me forward.

Halfway to the bowls, I am sure that I will choose Abnegation. I can see it now. I watch myself grow into a woman in Abnegation robes, marrying Susan's brother, Robert, volunteering on the weekends, the peace of routine, the quiet nights spent in front of the fireplace, the certainty that I will be

safe, and if not good enough, better than I am now.

I look at Caleb, who now stands behind the Erudite. He stares back at me and nods a little, like he knows what I'm thinking, and agrees. My footsteps falter.

He left me no other option. I set my jaw. I will be the child that stays; I have to do this for my parents. I have to.

Marcus offers me my knife. I take it, staring into his eyes. He nods, and I turn toward the bowls. Dauntless fire and Abnegation stones are both on my left, one in front of my shoulder and one behind. I hold the knife in my right hand and touch the blade to my palm. Gritting my teeth, I drag the blade down. It stings, but I barely notice. I hold both hands to my chest, and my next breath shudders on the way out.

I open my eyes and thrust my arm out. My blood drips onto the carpet between the two bowls. Then, with a gasp I can't contain, I shift my hand.

And my blood makes a strange sound as it hits the rocks.

At the last minute, I want to take it back. If I wipe my blood from the stones, will that count? But no, it was too late. I was too scared. I was a coward. I am nowhere near brave. I thought of my parents, not myself. I think of my family, my faction.

I am selfless.

I may be Divergent, but it matters not.

I am Abnegation. That is all.


	2. The First Night

Thanks for reading. Review please, it makes me feel appreciated, hihi.

**Chapter 2**

**The First Night**

As I expected, Susan and Robert stayed in Abnegation, and so did several some of the Abnegation-born initiates, although a couple left, as well. Most transferred to Amity, though; some to Candor, only Caleb left for Erudite, and, this year, no Abnegation transferred to Dauntless. As usual. I couldn't shake off the thought that I could've changed that. I could've been the only Abnegation-born faction transfer at Dauntless this year, but I was too scared to try. And now we'll never know that possibility.

As we stood there, behind the Abnegation members, the silence was deafening as the last few people in the Choosing Ceremony piled out of the room. I catch one last glimpse of Caleb, and I see him look from the transfer beside him to me. I see disappointment in his eyes; he was expecting me to make the same decision as him: leave Abnegation. Then he turns his back and we are the only ones left.

Growing up in Abnegation, I know what comes next.

"Well," Marcus begins, "That was something."

I look at father. He sits silently in the front row, beside mother and Susan's parents. Then he stands upright, presses the front of his gray coat with his fingers and clears his throat as he turns to face us, addressing the other Abnegation members as if his son hadn't just transferred, hadn't just left us. He welcomes the transfer Abnegation initiates; there are seven this year.

"Being Abnegation means more than being selfless enough to not think of ourselves; it is about being selfless enough to think of others. It is projecting outwards that we even almost forget ourselves in the midst of helping others."

From what I remember, there was more to what my father had to say. He was going to recite the Abnegation Manifesto if Marcus hadn't cut him off. He seemed frantic, with the way he spoke, but he was good at hiding it. I wouldn't have noticed it myself if I haven't been watching him give speeches to the Abnegation for sixteen years now.

"To some, this concept may seem absurd," he began. "Now, if you are among them, confused on how one can accomplish this, then you may not be as Abnegation as the faction would need you to be for now. At one point during your initiation, you will learn to embrace this, begin to open your hands out to someone, anyone, out there in need of our help. I would not want to sound… irrational, but if you cannot put your mind around the Abnegation way of life, you will be free to leave anytime."

I don't know what Marcus was trying to tell us, particularly the newcomers. He sounded too fierce, these transfers are most likely peace-seeking people, but not too much that would choose Amity. The way he told them to leave if they can't be selfless like them seemed too much for Abnegation standards. I feel the transfer behind me stumble, but he does not move. Other than his foot, no other noise is made.

"Well, then that's that," Marcus says before patting my father's arm and turning his back on us to walk towards a closet at the far side of the room.

My father claps his hands together with a straight face, with just a very subtle smile somewhere there if we look hard enough, and addresses us initiates, "Well, why don't we get started with our well-known Abnegation deeds?"

He walks over to Marcus who had just walked out of the closet with a few cleaning materials. This is not the first time I have been part of the cleanup committee after a program. It's almost always Abnegation; the Amity occasionally join us.

The other members walk towards the closet to gather their own materials, while my father hands out the others to us. He begins with the ones at the other side, letting the ones in front pass the materials to those at the back. When he reaches me, he pauses as he hands me two mops and a broom. I slowly take it away from him as I try to read his expression, until he breaks away from our quick staring contest by looking down at my cut hand before looking back at me to smile. He walks towards my mother at the other end of my room and I continue to watch them, until the transfer behind me lightly taps my shoulder. I turn around, almost forgetting their presence, then he makes hand motions I find strange at first. He looks nervous. Then I remember the equipment in my hand, so I hand the mop and broom to him, and I break away from the group to begin. The others follow in suit.

It actually takes us longer than usual, what with the newbies being clueless sometimes, and the size of the room wasn't fully appreciated with the crowd filling it earlier. Faction representatives will apparently have a meeting tomorrow, so we need to make the place spotless. We work silently, occasionally speaking to respond to questions from the new ones.

When we finish, four of the new recruits sit back on the chairs piled on the left side of the room, looking slightly exhausted. They have in their hands scrubs they used on the walls and, one of them, a black bag of garbage beside him. I plop down against the wall beside one of the transfers, and she turns her head sideways to peer at me.

"When do we leave?" she asks. Based on her yellow dress and red accessories, she was Amity. For a while, I wonder why she left, but remember that curiosity is not very Abnegation of me. I shrug and nod my head towards the older members of our faction. "We go when they go."

And with that, the members turn to us and bow their heads. The initiates who were Abnegation-born bow their head back, the new ones following in suit. Then we get up as the members begin to leave the room.

The transfer initiates take the bus to the Abnegation compound, while the Abnegation-born either take their family cars back home or take the bus as well. My parents accept the offer of the Blacks to give us a ride, so, while Mr. Black drives, dad sits in front with him, our mothers in the middle, and I sit in the back with Robert and Susan. During the first few minutes in the car, our fathers whisper to each other; I hear Caleb's name at one point. We ride the rest of the way home quietly.

When we reach our block, we get out of the car and bid our goodbyes, bowing our heads to them, too; typical Abnegation greeting. I slip a glance at Robert whose eyes I kept feeling watching me in the car.

It _was_ Caleb's turn to make dinner tonight. I plan on taking his place; all his turns, I will handle. He's left me no choice.

Dinner was awkwardly quiet. My parents used to tell us that our listening ears were gifts to us, but what is the use of that gift if no one was going to talk? I was about to speak to break the silence, when father spoke.

"Beatrice, staying in the Abnegation compound's dormitory is part of your initiation," he says, clearing his throat, "After dinner, pack a few extra clothes for yourself, and give any to the transfers who might need them, and we'll go to your new home."

I nod. It's an Abnegation act for our families to be selfless enough to let us go, apparently, thinking of our futures as Abnegation members, instead of their house lives without us. I'm leaving tonight, but I'm still with them, somehow. I imagine transferring to Dauntless; I wonder how they would have managed then. How long would it have taken them to get over my absence?

* * *

As we walk the sidewalk of the Abnegation streets that night, I notice people still out on the streets. Abnegation accompanying some Factionless, probably back to their area. The sun had set, and way past the Abnegation children's curfew, so I'm not entirely sure if this is normal.

When we reach the compound, we see the familiar car of the Blacks parked by the gate. I look up at the gray building of concrete in front of us, taller than the others by a floor. In the whole Abnegation sector, only buildings are this tall, the dormitory for us initiates, and the other for our mentors and some of our leaders with no families. The two buildings flank the Abnegation headquarters.

I stop by the curb, my legs stiff. I suddenly feel the gravity of my decision. I chose this life; I think twice: _Will _I be truly happy here?

My parents, already by the gate, look back at me. I approach them, pointing at my untied shoe. I lean against the wall by the door and drop low, tying my shoelaces. When I get up, my father comes closer and puts me in his arms.

"I am very proud of you, Beatrice," he whispers to me before pulling away. "You know that, right?" I smile at him. "Well, I am. And I want you to know that as you go through initiation. You'll make it, I just know it… and you'll be rejoining us soon."

My mother takes my hand and we all walk together into the compound. At the other end of the hallway are some of the other initiates' parents, grouped together, speaking in hushed voices. When my father opens the door though, they become silent. My father and mother bow their head to them, and the others respond similarly. I bow to them as well. A man with a slouched back breaks away from the group and puts his hand on my father's shoulder.

"Andrew," he begins, half-whispering to his ear, "How are you managing? I never took your son for the Erudite-type, especially with all these articles lately. We can only imagine." Some of the others in the hall with Abnegation hats take them off. When I was young, I used to believe that only reason Abnegation wore hats was for this very purpose: to grieve with someone who might need it.

My hands shake beneath my robes. I do not know if these men are actually sympathizing with him, or just glorifying the fact that it wasn't their children who did the heinous act… Then again, these men _are _Abnegation; they would not think of their own conditions, if ever. Maybe it was just me. But I can't help but feel the relief in the man's actions. He _does _seem like he's truly feeling sorry for our family, but at the same time also feeling good about himself.

My father expression stays plain, he grips the man's outstretched hand and nods his head towards the others. I do not know if he accepted their sympathy, or just shrugged it off. "Well, at least my dear Beatrice remained," he says, shaking my shoulder with one hand. I smile faintly. _At least I remained. _He'll be expecting more from me now. I will uphold my family's legacy; I must. For a while, I think of the possible alternative situation if I hadn't chosen this. The whispers, the gossip… I feel sorry for my parents before I remember that that wasn't the reality. This is the reality.

The door behind the members opens and an elder steps out.

"Oh, there's one more," he says, looking at me. He takes out a hand from his long robes and grips my shoulder, "Come on, come on, say your goodbyes and I'll take you to the girls' dormitory."

I turn back to my father and see his smile. He pulls me closer to him and mom. "Well then, we wouldn't want to keep you away from your fellow faction initiates any longer," he says. He and mom hug me, their arms intersecting over my back. I hug them back. Then I turn away and climb the stairs with the old man.

"You're not new, right?" He's not unfamiliar. I've seen him during a few meetings I've attended with father. If I was to judge physically, I'd say he seems like the oldest in the council right now. "Well then, you won't need much briefing. If you have any questions, ask the other initiates, okay?"

I nod. I would understand if he's exhausted. He's probably explained things to the girls upstairs and the boys downstairs; he's old and needs rest. If there was ever a time the Abnegation becomes selfish, it's when they reach an age where they can no longer keep going. Maybe their selfishness is subconscious; maybe their body just pushes them to think of their state.

* * *

There are nine of us in the room, and seven below in the boys' room. Given the cramped room, twelve beds are arranged facing each other, with barely a few inches in between the sides of the beds; six beds pressed against each wall to my side, leaving enough space for a path from the door to the other end of the room. Crossing the path in the middle of the room is another space across the only closet in the room, pressed against the right wall, separating three beds from the other. I place my bag on the bed next to Susan's and across a transfer.

When I entered the room, everyone was quietly unpacking their things or fluffing down their pillows. I saw Susan and Rhea, another one of our Abnegation-born neighbors, piling gray clothes into the only closet in the room. I join them and add my clothes into the closet. When we settle into our bunks, an awkward silence fills the room as the others have finished packing.

"So," the Amity girl to my left leans towards me, "Is getting to know each other in this faction not allowed, or…" She breaks off. She was the Amity from earlier. I blink at her with the same curiosity I had earlier, then Susan speaks. "Of course not. I think everyone's still just shy."

The Amity girl sits up and puts the pillow on her lap. "Well, boo. I'm gonna have to get used to all the silence, but I think I'll make it. I'm Tina, by the way," she offers her hand, expecting Susan to shake it. She stares at her extended hand, and I respond to her instead.

"I'm Beatrice. Tina, physical contact is powerful among the Abnegation." I smile at her.

"Oh," is all she can mutter as she puts her hand down, embarrassed. I like the thought that other factions still see our faction as worth transferring into; I don't want her views to change in less than a day of initiation. I let my sleeves fall over my hands and hold her hand between both of mine, smiling at her, "Hey. It's okay, you'll get used to it."

She grins, and I let go of her. Susan's eyes fall on our hands. Even I was shocked of what I just did.

"This is Susan," I say, pointing my thumb at her. Susan smiles and nods her head.

Then the lights go out. Curfew. A few of the girls shriek with the sudden darkness, and some of us can't help but laugh. Outside, we must be our selfless, Abnegation selves from now on. But amongst ourselves, I'm not sure we can be selfless at all times. Maybe it's just me, but I don't mind. If these girls will be the ones I grow up with, let's just hope I grow up no different than they are.

A few beds creak as the girls position themselves in bed. I lie back against mine and stare up at the ceiling. I try to coordinate my mind with my sight, and since I see nothing in this darkness, I leave my mind blank, as well. I try to keep this up, the not thinking about anything thing, choosing this rather than being overwhelmed with second thoughts. It doesn't take long before I feel my eyes starting to adjust to the darkness, so I close my eyes. I hear a few more bed creaks; probably a transfer going through her adjustment stage: the sleeplessness at night is a symptom. This place is not strange to me, I should not need adjusting; this has been my home for years, so why couldn't I find it in me to sleep.

_Beatrice, we should think of our family, _he said.

And I did.

_But…But we should also think of ourselves._

I didn't. But I choose now to follow his advice. Before I fall asleep, the last thing in my mind was me. Myself. My reflection, and the sudden yearning for a mirror.

I am selfish. I do not belong here. But I have to, so I will try.

* * *

Ended up a tad bit too long for my taste; hope you enjoy it though. Please review, thank you!


	3. The Transfers

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews. Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations, though. :3 I'm just sort of making these up as I go, with just a few plans at the back of my mind, so even I might be surprised, lol. :)

**Chapter 3**

**The Transfers**

I wake to a low buzzing sound somewhere above me. I open my eyes slowly and see Susan sitting up on her bed, folding her sheets. She sees me staring and smiles at me, pointing her finger at the ceiling. I hadn't noticed a vent their last night. It was right beside the light and has what looks like a communication remote attached to its inner wall. I'm guessing an alarm was activated from somewhere in the building and transmitted into this speaker, producing a sort of vibrating sound trough the echoes in the vent.

I sit up and walk out of the room, straight into the bathroom to wash up. Then I realize my selfish mistake. I should have fixed my bed first. For an Abnegation-born, I was setting quite a bad example.

I make gagging sounds before leaving the bathroom. Since the bathroom door and the door to our dormitory are adjacent, I bet they could hear me. I cough and clear my throat as I step into the room, and smile at the initiates looking at me. I rub my throat and make a face, as if I rushed out of the room because of it, then I go ahead and fix my bed.

* * *

During initiation, meals are held on the third floor of our dormitory, where we are served typical Abnegation food. I doubt other factions eat the same thing, so I am not surprised when the transfers find the food strange and apparently lacking.

In our cafeteria, there are only two long tables that extend from one end of the room to the other. For now, it depends on us who we sit with; meals at the end of the week will be different. It is when the initiates eat with the leaders. It's like an informal gathering, but instead of a celebration, it is like a class, teaching the initiates Abnegation manners. By the end of the initiation, the gathering will be bigger; every Abnegation is invited.

I sit in the middle of the table to my right, the one closest to the windows, with Susan right beside me. Tina also follows and sits across from me, and another Amity transfer sits beside her this time. "Susan, Beatrice, this is Diane," she introduces. I see Diane's hand rise from her side, but Tina pulls it down and holds onto it beneath the table. I smile and bow my head to her. Susan, who stopped associating herself with students from other factions since Mid-Level, tries her best to project a smile as well.

Others who have taken their seats immediately lift the covers from the trays laid out in front of them to eat, but those of us who were Abnegation-born wait until everyone has taken their seats. Susan watches them indifferently, probably curious of their reactions, though. Diane and Tina eye the food curiously, but when the transfers realize they are being watched, they stop playing around and set down the covers in front of them and begin to pick up their forks, poking at their food. For now, their non-Abnegation ways may be accepted, but they will soon need to adapt and learn how to live like the faction.

A few minutes later, the boys arrive and walk into the cafeteria boisterously. Is it natural for boys to get along so easy so fast? Robert is among them, talking to a boy from Amity. From the looks on their faces, their conversation seems animated. He grins at the boy before looking away to scan the cafeteria. When his eyes fall on me and Susan, he smiles widely and pats his new friend along. Robert sits beside Susan and the Amity boy on his other side.

"Susan, Beatrice, this is Charlie. He's from Amity," he says, his eyes glinting. We exchange smiles then introduce Tina and Diane to Robert.

"You're both from Amity? Do you three know each other?" Robert asks. The two Amity girls look at each other and giggle but shake their heads.

"From school, yes," Charlie says, "I see them occasionally, but I don't think I've ever seen them at the compound, or even interacted with them, have I girls? I don't know how I could've missed them." The two laugh.

A charmer, I think. Given his good looks, his dark hair complimenting his light skin, the bits of visible freckles on his left cheek emphasizing the dimple on his right, and eyes in a blue I don't think I have ever seen on anyone else's, he has the right to be one. And his voice, so deep yet filled the mischievousness of a young boy, I bet, has made several girls swoon over him at school. His smile, even, just a slight upward turn of his lips, can make you smile, his cheeks pushing upward against his eyes.

I continue scanning his face before I realize that if I don't stop, I will probably start swooning, as well. I sit up and pick up my fork, swallowing my thoughts and an apple.

* * *

We went back to the dormitory at least an hour later and, at least an hour before noon, the transfers are asked to change into their Abnegation clothes and we are all called down by some of the members. We travel back to the Hub in groups to clean up after the factions' meeting. Everyone was still in the meeting when we arrived, so we got to use the elevator, and we stayed at the back of the room as the meeting convened. We watched quietly as the leaders and representatives of the factions shook hands and exchanged greetings with each other before they left. Others, though, left with frowns on their faces, most from Erudite. I can't help but look at the only transfer from Erudite, the nervous boy from the Choosing Ceremony—he was at the other end of the wall we were all sitting or leaning against, his head bowed down as he stared at the floor. I don't know if his position was intentional, as he was with two more transfers hiding behind the door.

Everything seemed lighter today: the workload, the atmosphere, the mood. It was probably because the initiates have all made friends by now. We cleaned quietly, what with the presence of the members and some of our leaders, but we exchanged grins and snickers once in a while.

Robert and I introduced Tina and Diane to Michael, his cousin whose sister transferred to Amity. According to Robert, he's been fretting about his sister since the Choosing Ceremony, so he wanted the reassurance of the other Amity transfers that his sister is in good hands.

I also met Bryan, a transfer from Dauntless, and Riza, who he transferred with. Based on the looks they give each other, they transferred together, and most likely together as a couple.

At the back of my mind, I tell myself that when I get either of the two alone, I will ask them why they transferred from Dauntless, why they would leave the faction I was about to transfer to and join the faction I was about to leave.

We are given rice and beef stew for lunch today, brought to us in styrofoam packaging by some of the Amity that join us. Some take their seats on the floor while others, mostly the elders, on the chairs that were taken out of the pile at the side of the room. Father and mother sit on opposite sides of me. We were arranged in a big circle and the food was passed around clockwise, the members pointing out instructions to the confused transfers. The Amity form a separate circle.

At informal meals like this, we are allowed to speak. Ones spent with family or ones held during formal gatherings are different, where the children must only listen and respond when addressed. This was explained to the initiates during the meal by the old man, Henry Yeng, who accompanied me to my room last night. Everyone was quiet while listening to him, even the Amity who were eating behind us, watching us, even.

* * *

We take the bus back to the dormitory and, as we pass the Factionless area, the member standing in front announces a trip early tomorrow morning into this part of the city, probably to distribute help to the Factionless, which I tell Tina when she asks. She shudders at the idea. They maybe Amity and peaceful, but the thought of even coming close to the Factionless can disturb some people new to the idea.

When we get home, the boys and girls divide as we enter our respective rooms, and bow our heads to the members assigned to us as they ascend to the third floor. I go to the bathroom to wash up a bit and lay back on my bed, falling asleep almost instantly. I hear Susan waking me up for dinner a few minutes later, or at least I think it was a few minutes, but I ignore her and turn to my side, covering my head with my pillow. I blink a couple of times, intending to wake up for dinner eventually, but I see a couple of the girls on the other side sleeping as well, and I find myself incapable of getting up.

I don't really know what exhausted me, though. There wasn't much work, not much to think about today. Then I realize I just love the feeling of rest. It's been a while since I was able to sleep peacefully at night, and this was the perfect opportunity to make up for lost sleep: tired enough to turn in early, but with a clear enough mind to sleep with disturbing thoughts tonight. The last thing I actually think of tonight before sleeping was today's lunch, which was most likely the first I've spent with actual friends, other than Susan, Robert and Caleb at least.

Then there was Robert, his smiles and grins directed at me today at the Hub were different. For an instant, I remember the Choosing Ceremony, my thoughts before choosing Abnegation. That glimpse of my future with him, and for a while, I feel good. I might live through Abnegation happy, with these people, with this lifestyle, with my parents… and maybe even with him.

I smile one more time before finally drowsing off.

* * *

So I kept this short, sort of intentionally. I have big plans for the next chapter and I'll start working on it as soon as I post this. I'm pretty excited for it, really. :D So yeah, please review. Thanks.


	4. The Factionless

LOL, I don't really know why I was so excited to write this chapter, maybe because this has the scene I've been replaying in my head over and over again the past few days, and the scene that got me to start this in the first place. So, yeah. Review please! :D Thanks for the other responses so far :)

**Chapter 4**

**The Factionless**

We leave the initiates' compound almost immediately after our early breakfast. Outside our building is a line of plastic bags laid out on the empty lot. We each take at least one and get on our way.

As we walk along the sidewalk in two or three lines, I can't tell because some stray to the sides, one of the members in front, our initiation leaders, turn around and begin to walk backwards to address us, while another members supports her from behind.

"When we enter the Factionless sector of the city, we will need every one of you to take extreme caution. Cracked roads, open manholes, buildings on the verge of collapsing, and of course, people we are never too sure how to handle." She pauses as she looks behind her after stumbling slightly against an uneven part of the sidewalk. "And _that_ is a sign we're getting close."

She turns her back to us and continues, "In those plastic bags you are carrying is either food or clothes which you will distribute among the Factionless you pass evenly. If they've received their share of both, move on and look for others; they scatter throughout this area, so you might even find some in alleys or inside buildings."

She turns her head over her shoulder to looks at us for a last-minute reminder, "Since this is most likely the first time the transfers have been to this part of the city, we will have to ask at least one Abnegation-born to accompany each transfer, and everyone else, do your rounds in pairs, as well."

Given the even number of initiates, we will be doing this in pairs. I was just about to ask Susan to be my _partner_ when I see her talking to Diane, and then she turns to Rhea and they both look at Tina. Then she turns to me.

"Who are you taking, Beatrice?"

"I, uh—," I don't know. I shrug and look at one of the transfers. I spot Riza, skipping steps on the sidewalk, her head bowed down, and I suddenly remember my plan to ask her about Dauntless. Yesterday, I remember replaying my questions in my head, molding it to sound right. I was about to ask Susan about her, just as we stop when we almost bump into Robert, who had stopped walking to walk with us.

"The guys are all paired up," he grimaces, then asks, his mood suddenly perked up, "So, who's available?"

I look behind him, at Riza, then I look at the Dauntless she transferred with, Bryan. He looked behind his shoulder to glance at her, and she looks up almost at the same moment. He winks at her, and I suddenly know that if not her, I know who I want to spend this day with.

"I am. _Someone_ I know got another partner before I even knew what was going on…" I look at Susan from the corner of my eye and I realize that I'm back with the sarcasm I think the Abnegation do not appreciate that I want to take back what I said. But instead, she grins, and retorts, "Hey, you seemed out of it, Beatrice!"

I laugh with the others who were listening in. Then Robert, moving to my other side, takes the plastic bag of food in my hand and balances it with his own on both his shoulders. I see Susan exchange looks with Rhea, and this subtle notion reminds me of Caleb: of how it used to be me and Robert exchanging those looks, and it was him and Susan flirting. But with that thought, I backtrack. Could Robert be flirting with me? I finally see my future going in perspective.

* * *

"To project always outward," Janice, our leader, recites as she skips past a crevice on the sidewalk, "Until I disappear." We say it back in unison. A bus passes us as we walk, Abnegation children sitting by the windows looking at us, curious, wondering if they will be in the same position as us in a few years.

A huge crack at the right side of the road that the bus had just avoided tells us that we have arrived at the Factionless sector of the city. We begin almost immediately, copying Janice and the other leaders when they begin giving supplies to the wandering Factionless.

I spot one staring out through the window of a building, and I look at Robert and motion for him to come with me. By the base of what once seemed to have been a sidewalk, I pull down my bag from Robert's hand and crouch down to open it. The knot was tighter than I expected, so I strain my fingers and sit on the ground to pull it loose. Robert crouches down beside me and attempts to untie the knot of his bag as well.

"So, Abnegation life living it up for you, yet?" he asks. I pull my hands back and massage my fingers, turning red from all the pulling, and look at him.

"What?"

"I'm not blind, Beatrice," he grins sneakily as he plays with the knots of the plastic bag, "Your mask on Choosing Day may have fooled some people, but not me… and most especially not Caleb."

I stare at him for a while, not breathing. Then I take a deep breath and fall on my behind as I exhale. I put my legs out and rest my arms on my knees, trying my luck with the knots again. I snicker under my breath and look at him, squinting my left eye, "Was it that obvious?"

"Noooo," he teased, rolling his eyes, "I just guessed."

I slap his arm, laughing, the sleeves of my father's gray dress shirt falling. I fold it up just above my wrists before I plop my hands down on my lap. "I—

"I don't know what came over me, really, I didn't— I didn't know what I was thinking, I just…" I pause, taking a deep breath before proceeding, "I felt for a while that maybe I wasn't… _fit _for Abnegation. And for even just thinking that, I already feel selfish."

I look down and turn away from him, embarrassed about what I just confessed to him. "Hey," he whispers, "I'm not judging you for being true to yourself." I look back at him for a while, trying to read his expression, and smile at him.

"It's just normal, I guess. I can't really imagine anyone to be truly selfless, you know? It's... I don't know; sure maybe some, but…" and he trails off. I stare a while at the bag in front of me that I just opened and look at him as realization began to dawned on me.

"YOU, Robert?" I ask in shock, a bit too loudly at first, but when I see his expression, I shrink back on the floor and whisper, "_You_ wanted to transfer, Robert?"

He stares at me as he tries to say something but just ends up with a long "What?" He continues to stutter and ends with a snort. I laugh at him as he shakes his head.

"Robert!" I sit up on my heels and slap his arm.

"Yes!" he says, in between laughs, "Yeah, I— I guess…"

I bend down to level with his bowed head and stare at him.

"But what made you stay?"

He looks up at me retorts, "What made _you _stay?"

I sit back down and snicker, "Oh, okay, so we'll be stubborn about this, then."

He shakes his head and look back at his plastic bag, opening it.

"You know, I'd understand. It… it just makes perfect sense, I mean you're smart, and then there's Caleb—"

"Wait, what?" I cut him off.

He looks back up at me, looking shocked at my reaction. "Erudite," he says, a pitch too high for him, "I said it would make perfect sense if you still chose to transfer there even after these articles lately—"

"You thought I was going to transfer to _Erudite_?" I have to stop cutting him off, I think, but he has got to stop surprising me with these things.

His face contorts strangely as he asks "You weren't?" and I shake my head, sort of laughing. The thought of him thinking I would just proves that he may not have been paying much attention to me these past sixteen years, much. Then again, neither have I; I never saw Caleb's Erudite-side until the Choosing Ceremony, nor Robert's… selfishness, maybe.

"Erudite? Really, Caleb, why Erudite?" I keep laughing, a bit too hysterically, but the thought that anyone would think I would want to transfer to Erudite makes me sick to the stomach for some reason. I think I may despise the Erudite subconsciously, even more now that they have claimed my brother, so I just laugh it off.

"I just _told _you: you're smart, and… well, when I saw your reluctance at the Hub after Caleb made his choice, I just… assumed…"

I shake my head.

"Well," he begins, "If not Erudite, which is it then? Amity?"

"Nope. Not my thing."

His eyebrows draw together, a crease forming at the top of his nose. "It's not Erudite or Amity. And let's be honest, Beatrice," he looks at me through his lashes, with his head bent sideways, "_You're_ not very honest."

He snickers as I make a mock-shocked gasping sound and hit him hard on his back. He rubs his back and goes silent, a slight smile still on his lips. "Then, Beatrice, that only leaves one other faction."

I sigh. Robert is the first I've ever told this to; not even Caleb knows this. I look at the back of his head, his curly blonde hair still short from last week's cut.

"I never took you for the Dauntless type, really," he turns his head to the side to look at me, his left eye squinting, the sun rising behind me.

"What, you don't think I can handle it? Being brave?"

"No, the… violent, strong," he points at the plastic bag I was unable to open just a few minutes ago; I am tempted to hit him again, "parts of Dauntless."

"I could have worked on it. I bet they go through training during initiation," I tell him. And I do really, but I will never really know for sure, anymore.

"Okay, so I get that," his voice suddenly low, almost like a whisper, "but why'd you stay? You seem to really want it, given that your aptitude test bothered you enough to consider it? Why didn't you, I don't know, go for it, instead?" his tone was different, a bit desperate for the answer, a bit frustrated, even. I don't know why; then I think I do. Maybe he wanted to feel comforted that he was the only one who felt the same way as him, selfish but selfless at the same time. He was still probably having second thoughts like me.

I open my mouth, about to correct him about my results, to tell him that I got Abnegation, like Tori told me to, but I stop. It would raise more questions if I tell him I got Abnegation, like why would it even pass my mind to transfer to Dauntless if not for the aptitude test? So I decide against it, and decide to just let him believe my results were Dauntless, and anyone else who I might end up wanting to confess to about my reluctant choice.

"When Caleb transferred, I couldn't…" I stutter, "couldn't bear the thought of leaving my parents. He'd left me no other choice, so I stayed." I look back at him. "You did the same thing too, you know, Robert."

I don't know what I said wrong, but he looked… almost disappointed, or insulted, I don't know. I don't see a reason for him to feel that way.

"Oh no, Beatrice, no… I could've _left_, Beatrice. I could've," the emphasis he put on the word 'left' evident, "Susan chose before me, and she _stayed_. I could've left feeling relieved that I didn't leave my parents alone, and knowing their selflessness, they'd even visit me. But I _didn't_."

I blink. "You and I," his finger switching back and forth, pointing at me then him, "it turns out, have _very _different ways of viewing life, and that includes," he sits up and kneels on one knee, turning his back on me, as he twirls the top of his plastic bag around his palm, "the choices we make, along with the decisions and reasons that come with it. And our reasons are…" he turns around to face me, him now being higher than me, he looks down at me, his eyes widen when realizes how close he has gotten to me with that movement, and looks away, back to his plastic bag, throwing it over his shoulder and standing up, "_also… _different."

He turns back to me one last time and smiles at me, practically closing his eyes. When he stands up, I stare blankly at his back, until he turns around and nods his head towards the building, and I finally stand up to follow him, half-carrying, half-dragging my bag behind me.

* * *

We spend the rest of the afternoon giving out food and clothes to the Factionless, which, luckily, Robert and I both have in our bags. Some of the Factionless accept our donations with no trouble, used to it and actually expecting it now. Others shy away from us. They aren't all like this. Some Factionless still have the virtue of their past factions with them, but I suppose they begin to lose it over time. Years spent alone can do that to people, I suppose.

When Robert and I reach an empty lot with several of the Factionless roaming and sitting around, we decide to ration out our food and clothes to hasten our rounds.

Having families among the Factionless is rare. Not impossible, but rare. I heard in a meeting, one I wasn't supposed to be listening to, once, from one of my father's colleagues, that it is one of the reasons why the Factionless are what they are now. They were too selfish to be Abnegation, thinking of their own needs and wants instead of thinking of what future their children would have, too idiotic to be Erudite and think things through, things like that.

While crouched down, giving and old woman, leaning against the ruins of a building, her food and clothes, a boy who looked around his pre-teens walked towards us. He seemed to be limping, so I wish the old woman care and turn away from her and towards the boy. I take out a set of clothes folded neatly into plastic and one Styrofoam package to hand over to him.

As I reach out for him to take it, he approaches slowly at first, then when he was close enough, grabs the styrofoam from my hand and opens it immediately to bite into a piece of chicken, the plastic of clothes falling on the floor beside me. I pick it up and approach him, and he looks up at me. He reaches for the plastic of clothes, but I see, for an instant, his eyes flicker to the plastic behind me. Being the kid he was, he moved fast as he ran for the plastic, grabbing what he could fit in his small hands, in this case two more of the styrofoam packs and, before running away, grabs the plastic of clothes from me.

I was too stunned to do anything about it, other than try to grab him at the last minute. But he quickly moved away and skirted past Robert who was walking towards me, a confused look on his face as he watched the boy run into an alley; he probably didn't see what the boy just did.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"I don't… I don't know, he seemed… shy." I just say. I didn't want to know if he would chase after the boy to get back the food, but I didn't tell him just to be safe. The boy may have taken those for a reason. And the mere fact that he was that young implies having a family, maybe even younger siblings.

He shrugs off further question and we go on with our rounds, but I can't help but think of the state the Factionless are in. I wonder how different they could be that they would fail their initiation or leave their old faction. If faced with the choice, I believe I would rather be dead than Factionless, no matter how I look at it.

* * *

It is only when we get home that I realize it took all of us until dark to finish our rounds. Tina and Rhea were telling us the story about how one of the Factionless threatened them to hand over their supplies; they would have if Bryan and Riza, the transfers from Dauntless, didn't interfere.

As I stare out the window of the cafeteria, Robert sits down beside me.

"Hey, where are you this time?"

"Not in a hole, that's for sure."

"Are you, by any chance, at the Dauntless or Erudite compound?" he whispers in my ear. I punch his knee and shush him. I can't afford letting anyone else know about it. He grins.

"Erudite. I miss Caleb," I admit.

"I do too, but we have to move on. Hey, you might get to see him on Visiting Day," he says, winking at me before leaving.

And with that happy thought, I smile. I actually have something else to look forward to now.

* * *

Thoughts? Bad chapter, didn't live up to your expectations? Any errors found, go ahead, by all means! **Be brave.** :)


	5. Fun And Games

I know, I know. Months before I updated again! Well, I was on vacation back then, and we made the most of our last week, then I recently got back to school. Then, I forgot a bunch of the stuff I had planned, plus busy days. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Still super sorry! Please review though!

**Chapter 5**

**It's All Fun and Games 'Til Someone Gets Hurt**

**(When Opinions Change)**

The next few days of initiation weren't so bad. We were called for clean-up duty a couple of times again, but none tired us out as much as our first time. I'm not sure what was different this time, exactly, but there it was. The air was filled with friendly vibes, the initiates helping each other, actually working as a faction, as a whole. I saw my life as Abnegation going as planned, and it was looking good.

Only a few days after our first, we had another one of our rounds in the city, but this time, instead of just the Factionless sector, we ventured further into the rural parts of the city. Although most of the city is pretty much divided equally among the factions, other Factionless apparently still end up wandering here. Marissa, one of our mentoring members, told us that this may be some of the Factionless who can't help but return to their home factions. Anyway, this parts were still pretty close to the Factionless sector, so the Abnegation are responsible for keeping them back before they get any further.

This time, Susan pulled me out of the group and partnered with me before Robert could even ask me, which he was about to do when I glanced at him. Susan noticed and, for some reason, she seemed a bit jumpy as she pulled me away. I had to pull her back to get our bags, though.

She wrapped her arm around mine as we walked, looking for Factionless. I was about to say something, just to break the silence, before she spoke.

"So… you and my brother."

Her hair covered her face almost entirely on the side, so I couldn't see her expression when she said this, but from her tone, she seemed to be teasing. If only Caleb hadn't transferred, it would have been me teasing her. Now, that was never going to happen again; and now, I just made myself sad.

"Robert and me nothing," I tell her. She turns to me with a sheepish grin before pulling away.

"Well I for one am happy for my brother, because _finally_, you notice him," she says with a genuine smile on her face. Did I not give much notice to him before?

When we make a turn at the block, we see some of the Factionless, looking around at the buildings as if it was familiar territory—as if they'd seen them before, in pictures or distant, childhood memories, but they haven't been there in a while. Some, I noticed, were looking at the schools and offices with longing.

Susan and I look at each other and nod in understanding. We separate, bringing our bags with us.

On this trip, our goal is not only to give supplies to the Factionless; we also need to bring them back to their sector. Other faction members still tend to get jumpy at the sight of Factionless.

I approach one sitting on a bench by the stairs leading to the train platform. I scan the area for Susan and I see her deep in conversation with a Factionless woman sitting in an alley between two small restaurants. I take this chance to walk past the Factionless man and climb up the platform. From here, I could see the train tracks closer. I follow the tracks until I can no longer see where it leads. From experience of watching the trains for as long as I can remember, I know for a fact that the train circling around the city never stops—it slows down occasionally on the places the Dauntless usually jump off on, particularly school and the Hub.

That's when I see him.

It happened very fast. The train tracks begin making this faint sound, and I realize the train was approaching. I was about to go down when I notice something—someone—moving inside one of the cars. It was late in the afternoon, so I doubt it was a student headed to school.

Then he jumps off. A tall, dark figure dressed in Dauntless clothing jumps off the train, which was still far from the platform then. He raises and lowers his arms as he drops to the ground, and he crouches down close to the ground as he lands, on his two feet, I might add. And as he looks up, I realize that this face is one I will never forget.

It was a young man with a spare upper lip and eyes a dark blue I've never seen on anyone's eyes before. He had a cut just above his cheekbone. I wanted to go to him, ask him who he was and what a Dauntless could be doing here at this time of day so close to the Factionless area. But it didn't feel like the right thing to do, especially for an Abnegation initiate.

Then he looks down at the ground, bowing his head, before he stands up and begins to walk away calmly, slowly, as if he lived here; although he was also looking around, almost curiously, as if he was new here.

When I _did _decide to go down, he was nowhere to be found anymore. I think I may have seen a glimpse of him walking into a passageway leading into the city, but I couldn't be sure. It could have been the Factionless man I left a while ago and was now no longer sitting on the bench, or a fellow initiate for all I know.

* * *

The rest of our time left for our rounds, I spend with Susan. When she found out that I sort of wandered off instead of helping that Factionless man, she felt obliged that we do our rounds together instead of separately. I helped her, of course I did, but my mind was on the guy that just jumped off the train. Before I became a full-pledged Abnegation initiate, the only place we ever went to on a regular day was school then we would go back home, so I wasn't really sure if a Dauntless traveling alone so close to the Factionless was normal. The worse thing was not that; it was dwelling on the idea that he might have been a Dauntless initiate, or member, who decided to leave his faction. Would he really choose to be Factionless instead of Dauntless? Could life there be as horrible as my father thinks, because if you asked me, I would have chosen Dauntless and maybe even death anytime over being factionless.

* * *

We all got back to the Abnegation sector pretty early, so our leaders send us back to our dormitories to wait for dinner. I lay down in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking about nothing and everything. Probably after an hour after, a loud knock on our door interrupts my thoughts and makes me sit up, also waking up Susan and Tina and some others who were asleep. Rhea opens the door to Bryan and the other Abnegation-born male initiates, Riza's boyfriend from Dauntless. When the door opens, he was leaning against the door frame and stands up straight as he asks where Riza is. Riza was lying on the bed closest to the door and, as he sees her, was just about to enter before Rhea pushes him back, and Michael pulls him back.

"What?" he exclaims with a grin.

"You can't just come in the girls' dormitory like that," Susan tells him with a smile creeping its way into her face.

"Well then," he says as he slightly leans back against the wall of our room, gesturing at himself, "_May _I come in?"

The guys behind him laugh. One, I recognize as Adrian, hits him at the back of his neck.

"What? Look, the members said we can't sleep together in one room, but there weren't exact rules saying we can't be in one room together, right?"

Come to think of it, there wasn't. And if there was, I just wasn't sure. I realize that for an Abnegation-born, I wasn't very sure about many things Abnegation.

Riza considers this, but shakes her head eventually. Riza just watches them from her bed, a wide smile on her face; it _was _pretty amusing to watch.

This goes on for a bit longer. The boys dare each other to try and enter the dormitories, with Bryan even jokingly asking if there was some sort of force field that was going to stop them from entering anyway.

In the end, it was us girls that just stepped out of the room to avoid trouble. If there was a rule or none about being in the same room with boys, we didn't want to risk it. We all go to the cafeteria after the others call the boys left in their room. We spend the rest of the night sitting on one long table, squeezed so close together, talking about anything anyone could think of. I don't complain, seeing as I was sitting next to Robert and… well.

At one point, the Amity transfer Robert befriended, Charlie, took out a bottle of water and set it on the table. He taught us a game they used to play in the Amity compound, which Tina explained to us girls, called "Spot the Lie." They would spin the bottle, and whoever the bottle pointed to would say three things about him/herself, then the person will spin the bottle again then he or she would guess which one of those things stated was a lie. If he guesses it right, he can choose to either say three things about himself or pass and just handpick the next liar. Every time someone guesses correctly, everyone else applauds and wait for an explanation from the guesser and the liar, but when someone gets it wrong, well, we just laugh before the liar points out which is the lie.

The whole time, I was hoping I wouldn't get picked. I wouldn't have, until Robert gets picked by the bottle to guess Michael's lie. Growing up with Michael, it was obvious when Michael included "I love cats" in his three statements. Michael was terrified of cats. Then Robert chose to pass the challenge on to me. I hit his arm before thinking of what I could say.

Damn, I think. I should have thought this through. I decide on this:

"Okay, um," I begin. "I have a brother, I love high places, and I fear tall buildings."

I didn't know what to say, it was completely random, so some laughed at it. It was pretty much either one or the other: I either loved heights or feared it.

I spun the bottle, and it chose Bryan. He grinned.

"You don't fear tall buildings." The others wait for my response, so I finally say "I… don't."

Applause. "I just don't," I say in between laughs.

"I know you don't," Bryan said, "I don't think you as the type to fear anything, much less tall buildings."

My smile slowly fades then. I don't know what he meant by that, but I felt like it was something. Everyone shakes off his statement as Bryan points at Riza for her turn, but I don't. Did he just say I seemed fearless to him? Wasn't that a dauntless trait?

I couldn't just shake a thought like that off.

Thanks, Bryan. Now my mind's back on the man who seemed to have just left Dauntless earlier today.

* * *

After at least three more lies, though, the kitchen staff enters the cafeteria and is pretty much shocked to see us there too early. We just told them another lie: that we didn't want them to bother calling us for dinner later. They shrug this off and serve us dinner. The members were apparently not joining us for dinner tonight.

After dinner, we spend a few more minutes in the cafeteria to let the food settle in before we decided to go back to our own dormitories.

I was half-asleep, lying on my side, facing Susan, when I heard laughter from behind me. I turn to my side and see some of the girls sitting around Riza's bed. She sees me watching and tosses me a pillow, waking me up. I chuckle as I sit up, pulling myself towards the circle. I realize that they were playing with cards. Apparently, when Riza moved out of the Dauntless compound preparing for the Choosing Ceremony, she and Bryan snuck out one card deck each.

It wasn't the first time I've seen them. I know that the Dauntless play them often. I've seen Dauntless kids in our school cafeteria play them; even the Erudite play them, although the mechanics seemed different. The Erudite play either individually, setting the cards on the table in front of them and arranging them somehow, or by twos, where they exchange cards and take out some from the deck in front of them or something. The Dauntless, on the other hand, play in big groups, noisily, too; they would shout at and make fun of each other. I was pretty sure there was also cheating involved, as I've seen cards exchanged from under the table from afar. On several occasions, I've seen some of the Dauntless stomp the table loudly or throw the cards onto the table before walking away. The remaining Dauntless would just laugh and gather the cards again for another round. Then the Dauntless who walked away would eventually come back to watch or join the game again.

Riza taught us one of their games. It was the first time I've actually held a bunch of cards. Well, more than once, I've gotten a hold of a couple during clean-up at the cafeteria. Anyway, I found the designs really cute, and I swear I think I had a big, goofy smile on my face as I arranged the cards according to suit.

But just when we were starting to have the real fun, with squeals and shocked reactions and pure, happy laughter whenever someone won or lost or made an intentional, wrong, cheaty move, we suddenly hear slow, but loud echoed footsteps from the outside. Looking out at the window, we realize that it had gotten dark, and none of us even noticed. It was time for the members to inspect the rooms and turn the lights out. We all laugh under our breaths as we quickly try to hide our cards on-hand under our pillows and we all rush to our respective beds. Then the lights turn off, and almost everyone, especially those still far from their beds. Those who bunk at the opposite sides of the room run off, then I feel cards flying around. Someone a bit more panicked than everyone else must have thought it would be a good idea to just toss them somewhere, or was probably trying to hide it quickly, but failing at it. I hear a high-pitched "Ow!" from somewhere across the room and a bed squeak before the door opens. I peak at the inspector through my blanket and see that it was an elderly member. He looks around the room with one quick scan before closing the door.

I turn to my side and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I try to look around the room without sitting up, and I see Maribel, one of the Abnegation-borns I never really got to know, sitting up in her bed, rubbing her eyes. The Candor transfer on the bed next to her was muttering something under her breath, too soft for me to hear anything except bits of apologies.

"It's okay," I hear Maribel say, before she pulls out a couple of cards from her bed. She holds them for a while, then sort of throws it over to the transfer's bed and lies down. Silence follows, and I am left to wonder if Maribel really was okay with that. Maybe she was trying to act selfless; you know, think of the transfer's feelings instead of hers. But I wouldn't know. I think she meant to throw the cards a bit too far, so it landed on the transfer's face instead of the bed. I didn't want to dwell on it any longer, and, thankfully, I fell asleep soon after that.

* * *

Again, pleaseeee review! I'll try to update soon. Thank you so much!


	6. The Stranger

Okay, so I realized that the spacing (thanks for pointing it out, XxxcloudyxxX!) sort of changed after an update I didn't seem to notice. Oh, and I have proofread my chapters again and everything's right now, I hope. :D Review guys. Thank you!

**Chapter 6**

**The Stranger in Black and Blue**

That night, I have a dream. I dreamed I was back in the testing room filled with mirrors. Tori was there, along with other people in the room; I don't remember seeing their faces, though, but I do remember seeing my reflections. I remember sitting on the chair and Tori letting me drink the serum, but I never get the chance. As soon as the bottle touched my lips, I feel something touch my hand, and, without even realizing whether I moved or not, the contents spilled all over my Abnegation shirt, and the room melted into… well, our dormitory.

I open my eyes with a start. I think I gasp, but I wasn't sure. Great… the first dream I get in weeks and it wasn't very good now, was it?

I sit up and look around. The girls have begun fixing their beds. Tina glances at me and smiles; I catch a glimpse of a card fall off her blanket when she pulled it up to fold it.

Technically, being Abnegation, the first thing we're suppose to do after waking up is either attend to everyone else's needs or, if there wasn't really anyone to help and you didn't want to bother anyone, we attended to the immediate chore to reduce the burden for others or the environment. In the dormitories, it was to fix our own beds. But my dream still bothered me, and I was starting to feel nauseous, even more with the grayness of the surroundings. It never bothered me before, but after that dream….

I just told myself that I probably wasn't the only one in our initiation batch who was having these thoughts of selflessness every once in a while. So as I dropped my blanket to drag myself out of the room and into the bathroom, I was relieved to notice that no one threw judging looks at me.

I lock the bathroom door behind me. I push myself against the sink and turn on the faucet. I put both hands under the faucet and splash the water onto my face, getting even my clothes wet. I pant slightly, holding onto the sides of the sink and look up, staring at the gray wall. I want to vomit, just to let anything out and hopefully, my sudden distaste for our color's factions comes out with it. It's just that, I think, seeing your multiple reflected faces melt slowly into gray nothingness may have this effect on anyone.

I stand up and take a deep breath. I close my eyes and do the second un-Abnegation like thing I've done today: I turn to my right and push my fingers into the invisible dent in the tiles on the bathroom wall. I pull it to the side, revealing the mirror underneath. I wasn't exactly aware this was here before I did this, but I had an idea. I think I may have seen Mrs. Susan sneak a look into this very mirror three years ago during an Abnegation gathering.

I stare at my reflection. I take in my own features, from my messy, blond hair, to my rather large forehead, my wide, blue eyes, my thin nose, my narrow face that stretches tightly into my square jaw, and my neck and throat, watching the movement it makes when I swallow. I look into my own eyes. The shape, the way my irises move, and the way it curves when my brows come together painfully reminds me too much of Caleb. These eyes were the eyes that looked accusingly at my brother, who, in turn, looked into these very eyes with disappointment.

I turn away just as someone knocks on the bathroom door, closing the compartment as I do. I make splashing sounds with the water and turn it off before opening the door. Riza was there, holding a towel and a folded gray coat to her chest; I wasn't sure, but I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of a black shirt among the pile she was holding onto.

"You okay?" she asks, smiling as she enters the bathroom.

"Yeah," I respond, pulling the door backwards and leaning against it, "Think I just ate too much last night."

We both laugh weakly. I look at her and suddenly notice the dark circles under her eyes. I wonder if she'd been crying, or if maybe she's been having sleepless nights, too. Then I realize I wasn't the one with I bite my lip and point outside, "I'll go on ahead."

"Yeah, yeah," she nods. "I bet you have some big things planned for today."

"Today?" I ask, turning back around.

"Oh, um, it's the end of our first week, Beatrice. We have the day all to ourselves, to give time to adjust since we'll be moving on to a sort of different mode of lessons next week. Us transfers were briefed about it during our first night. Personally, I think it's a test," she says as she hangs her towel and clothes over one of the stall's door, "To see if we're going to do anything self-indulgent or something. Anyway, I just assumed you Abnegation-borns knew."

"Um, I think we were supposed to. I guess I just forgot," I smile at her and thank her for reminding me before leaving.

Great. Our first vacant day and I have no idea what to do.

When I get back to our room, the others are either lying in bed or walking around the room, preparing their toiletries and clothes. I see Susan sitting on her bed, folding clothes into a duffel bag. She smiles at me when she sees me looking, and I approach my bed to fix it but see that someone already did it for me. Great, I just bothered someone.

Susan, probably reading my thoughts, says, "No worries. It looked like you needed air." I muttered thanks and asked her what she had planned.

"Robert and I will be staying over at home. You?"

I thought about it. As much as I missed my parents, I wanted some time alone.

_Selfish_, my conscience screams at me. I push the voice down.

"I might do the same. So when are you leaving?"

"I might go now. Do you want to come with me, Beatrice?"

"What about Robert?" I ask as I sit on the other end of Susan's bed, taking out my own set of clothes, and I reach over my bed and take out my bag from under it.

"Oh, he says he and the boys have something planned this morning, so he'll catch up later," she pauses for a while and sits up with her hands on top of the bag on her lap. She watches me for a while until, when I begin feeling awkward with her eyes on me, I stop. She snapped out of her star and she grins. "Will you be going with Robert, then?"

I feel blood rush to my face. Will I? "I suppose."

Her smile extends on both sides of her face, then she wrinkles her nose with a grin, "Do you fancy my brother, Beatrice?"

I gasp in pretend shock as I stand up. "Susan! Don't be so scandalous," I tease. She had once replied this way to me when I asked her about him and Caleb, three months ago, maybe.

I pull out my towel from the closet and walk away, leaving Susan in between laughs.

* * *

Since the bathroom for the girls have four stalls, with one for toilet purposes, I had to wait in line outside, behind Tina while the three other transfers already inside. I assume that the other Abnegation-born initiates will be taking their baths at their own homes when they go home for the day.

"Hey," she mutters as she turns to face me when I lean against the wall behind her. I smile at her.

"So… you girls planning something?" I ask, nodding towards the bathroom door, a mischievous tone playing in my voice. She grins.

"Not much; games, maybe, or a bit of wandering around, we don't know yet. You?"

"Home."

She nods. Then, when I see this somehow anguished look on her face when she looked down, I somehow feel guilty. Compulsively, I ask her something, more in a matter-of-fact tone, I immediately regret.

"You miss them?"

She snickers once before replying.

"More than anything," and when she looks up, she was smiling again. Then, probably unable to read my expression, quickly shakes her head. "But I don't regret my decision," she blurts out in what seemed to be one quick word. I laugh as she continues, in between giggles as well, "I really don't. I just… miss them. I guess it can't be helped. I guess they never expected me to leave, you know… I—I miss my sister, too, and, if I disappointed my parents, I know I disappointed her more, but I don't think _she_ would actually mind. I think she'd just be happy for me."

My smile slowly began fading. When Caleb left, all I could think about was how he could have betrayed us, how selfish and how much he had lied and pretended to us all these years. I missed him, but not once have I thought about how _he _felt; I'd never even considered being happy for him, and I know that he would only have been happy for me if I left and went off to Dauntless.

"Yeah… yeah, I totally get that."

Before she could respond, the door opens behind her and Diane, her friend from Amity, steps out, her hair up over her head, wrapped in a towel. "I've never been under hot water for so long," she says with a wide grin on her face. Tina enters the bathroom to take her place, and they both smile at me before leaving me to my thoughts.

* * *

I didn't figure out what I wanted to do until after I had taken a nice, long shower, which was probably the longest I've had since initiation, considering our schedules on ordinary routine days. When I get back to the dormitory room, Susan was no longer there. I take my bag from her bed and place it under my bed. I was just about to leave when I hear the window in our room open, and I turn to see Riza leaning against the windowpane, staring out. I join her and take a look outside.

"You can see the trains from here," she says as she looks up at the far sky. I look where she's looking and see the dark, curving outline in the sky.

"Do you miss it?"

She laughs, "No," she says, "I was never really Dauntless enough for my faction. So every time, every day, we needed to jump off that train, I've had Bryan help me."

I was pretty stunned about her answer. For months, I have fantasized about being Dauntless and jumping off those trains with people like her, but here she is, saying she never liked that tradition of theirs. For someone who grew up and was from Dauntless, she didn't seem so brave. Who was I to judge? For someone from Abnegation, I think of myself too much.

"That's why you left, huh?" I ask a stupid question. She doesn't answer for a while, as if pondering her response.

"Yeah," she mutters, "That's why."

I leave shortly after that. I guess I still wasn't sure what I was planning; just that I was going to roam around the city until I did.

When I passed the boys' dormitory room on the first floor, I could hear their boisterous laughter and loud teasing from inside. I also noticed the steam coming out of the bathroom beside their room. I rush out of the building then.

I don't know how long I wandered before I stopped in front of a building by the outskirts of the Factionless sector. Behind it is a long alley, running along this building and another one, taller than the others in this area. I stopped when a group of kids caught my attention. There were four of them: all four of them in a gray ensemble, but one of them dirtier than the others, his clothes too loose for his skinny frame. They were running playfully in the alley, laughing as they kicked around a small ball that could have been for a pet.

When the ball started towards the skinny one, he kicked a tad bit too early and fell on his butt. The others laughed but went to crouch with him otherwise. "You okay?" one of the Abnegation girls asked him. He gave them a toothy smile as he pushed his hair out of his face instead of answering, and they laughed again, with him this time, and helped him get up.

The ball rolled towards me and as I look down at it, memories of my childhood flooded back. I remembered being children like them once, but not exactly. What set me and Caleb apart was our father; being a leader, he had to set an example, so he barely let us play games like these—self-indulgent and unnecessary, he kept saying. Of course, occasionally, we'd sneak away with Susan and some others after school to play. Without thinking, I step on the ball to steady it then call out to them.

"Hey! Is this yours?"

They all turn and I could swear I saw panic in the eyes of one of the Abnegation boys.

"Yes…" the Abnegation girl whispered. "We're sorry, miss. We didn't mean to end up playing here. We just happened to…" She trails off. Then the Factionless boy speaks up.

"I'm sorry. I lead them here." The boy looks down at himself as he clasps both hands behind his back, his right leg swinging lazily back and forth. "I just saw them and… I'm really sorry," he pauses to look up at me and continues, "I'll just go."

I feel a twinge of pity for the boy. He's too young to be living under these conditions. I remember the boy who stole from my supply of provisions a few days ago.

He had already turned when I called out to him again. "What's your name?"

He turned to look at me, probably to check who I was talking to, and answered, "I, uh… I have none, but… but my brother calls me Rain," he mutters.

The knot in my stomach tightens.

"Rain, really? Why rain?" I pretend to chuckle.

"He says he found me and my mom on a rainy day," he turns around to face me, "I think it's because he says our father used to call him 'Sun' or something."

I smile inwards. I wanted to tell him that his father probably called his brother "son", but decided not to for now, to let him have the bliss for ignorance for a while longer.

"Hey," I roll the ball under my feet, "Heads up!" and I kick the ball to him in a quick movement. He catches it with his hands and I smile at him as he looks up. Then, I turn to the Abnegation children.

"Don't stray too far. No, actually, get close to the Abnegation sector now. Play with Rain there. Oh, and if we ever see each other again, that would be the first time, okay?" I wink at them and they grin widely. They run past me, pulling Rain with them. He glances back one last time to thank me before catching up to his friends.

I peek into the alley and look up at the tall building on one side. You can still see the remains of the once most likely magnificent building, but years of untouched damages that should have been fixed have made it just a tall building still made of stone and brick, compared to the glass and steel ones in the city.

I walk into the alley cautiously, sliding my fingers against the side of the building to my right. I jump slightly when a stray cat runs out of a pile in a corner of trash. I think my heart jumps off of my chest for a split second when a deep, rumbling voice speaks from above me.

"Careful there or you might hurt yourself, Stiff."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "You…"

He was the man who jumped off the train yesterday. He had his elbows on the edge of the rooftop of the tall building to my left. From down here, I couldn't see his face clearly against the sunlight, but I knew it was him.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" I demand, trying in an authoritative tone. I obviously failed where he succeeded when _he_ spoke.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? Isn't it a bit too dangerous for a little Abnegation initiate like you to be wandering around here on your own?"

"Well..." I begin, but I stop almost immediately. Whoever this guy was, I didn't want to give him that sort of power over me. "For your information, I am… doing my rounds in these parts of the city."

"Oh?" he says as he seems to straighten up on the rooftop, "Well then why did you let those kids go?"

"I… I didn't. I sent them back."

"Nope, because if I remember clearly, _you_ told them to continue playing, just a bit closer –"

"Okay, okay! Just.. shut up!" I interrupt him in a frantic; I don't know why though. I don't expect anyone to be around here at this time of day, but I guess hearing him say it out loud makes me feel negligent. He just snickers at me.

I sigh in exasperation and bite my dried lips. I look back up at him and for a moment, I thought he was gone, until I see his hands move.

"Your turn."

"What?" he asks.

"To answer my questions: Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"A bit curious for an Abnegation kid, aren't you? Or were you a transfer?"

"I… No! No more questions until you answer yours."

He snickers again. "Do you really want to know?" His voice echoes down the alleyway.

"Do you think I would be asking if I didn't?"

This time, he guffaws, his head shooting back towards the sky as he grips the edge for support. "Well, come up here then, and let's have a proper conversation about who's out of place."

My grin fades. As much as I wanted to know, I wasn't sure if this man was to be trusted. What if he wasn't alone on that rooftop, and I was walking right into a trap? Then my inner voice laughed at me; what trap would be set for _me_? Oh, conceited Beatrice…

I stall. "We're _already _having a conversation. I think this is okay," I say as I wave at the distance between us and shrug.

He inhales. "Nope," he says as he shook his head once and pointed at the floor beneath him.

I bite my tongue. "_Why_… do you need me up there?"

"No reason. I'm just curious to why a Stiff like _you_ is so eager to poke her nose into my business, and how far, or high in this case, she would go for the satisfaction of knowing," when he paused, I could actually _feel _the satisfaction of overpowering me in _his_ voice. "Or are you gonna let a few feet off the ground stop you?"

I swallow. I know I should be smarter than this; I _did _get Erudite in my aptitude test. But I also got Dauntless… so I went for it.

I took the biggest three steps and approached the wall of the building, grabbed onto the ladder hanging onto it and pulled myself up.

"There we go!" he called out as I continued up. "Not so bad, is it? The roof's just a tad bit lower than when we're on the train." Halfway through, I noticed something

"The ladder's broken up there!" I shout, looking up at him. The ladder stops just a few more rungs above me where the iron somehow bends completely to the right. A few rungs remain at the top, though, curving onto the edge of the rooftop.

"Yeah, well," he leans forward above me and bends down, reaching down. He pulls up his black long sleeve with his other hand, and he offers the other to me, "Grab on."

"What?" I exclaim as I look down. I was already very far off the ground, and one wrong move…

"Hey! Hey, don't look down! Geez, just trust me."

I would have thought otherwise in some other situation, but not this one. So I move up a bit more and grab onto his hand. He pulls me up a little more and grips my other arm as I reach for the edge. Once he's pulled me up, both my arms in his hands, I am suddenly fully aware of the air behind my leaning body, my feet on the second to the last rung of the ladder. One slipping movement and I doubt I'll see another day, so I move in a hurry, grabbing his arm with my one hand and his shoulder with my other. He groans slightly as I push myself up and onto the rooftop, applying pressure on his shoulder before I drop in front of him, his hands still on my elbows for support.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he says in my ear as I put my hands on my knees. I glance at him once and grin, letting out a sigh of relief. He _was _alone in the rooftop. I stand up and take a few steps to my side, turning to face him.

"So," I begin as I feel a wall behind me. I move a little more to the right and felt the door leading into the building. His eyes, serious and a dark shade of blue, squinted as they followed my movement, then it curved, smiling. "You were gonna answer my questions."

At this distance, I am able to size him up. His dark hair is curt short, almost Abnegation short, with just a few stubborn strands straying from the neat cut. He now has a band aid over his the cut below his eye that I saw a few days ago. And his clothes—he was still wearing his long-sleeved black Dauntless top, but his slacks were blue, the color of Erudite, except a bit faded and mixed with brown, a sign that it was a donated cloth for the Factionless.

He smiled again, mischievously. "Not until you trust me enough."

"Do _you _trust _me_?"

"I don't see a reason why not. _Can't_ you be trusted?"

I don't answer. Instead, I just shrug with a frown. I'd rather leave that up to other people's judgment.

"But I'll give you this much: I _was_ Dauntless, and I left, if that wasn't obvious enough yet."

I blink a few times before I blurt out "Why?"

His mouth opens, as if he was about to say something, but turned into a wide smile before he laughed. He shrugged while shaking his head. "I just…" he shook his head again, before the grin on his face began fading, "I just had to."

I think about what to say next, but I couldn't, so I just ask him "Why?" again.

This time, though, he just laughed. "Stubborn, aren't we?"

He turns his back to me and stares out at the other side of the city, and stays there. I decide to join him. I copy his position, my elbows on the edge of the rooftop. I clasp my hands together and I turn my head to the side to look at him, and he does the same.

He makes a 'tut' sound once and speaks as he looks away: "I didn't take you for the Dauntless type… I mean, if you were, you wouldn't be here right now."

He pulls his arms back and puts his hands in his pockets, and he turns around to lean back against the edge.

"What?" I ask.

"You," he says, nodding towards me, "liking the whole Dauntless thing." He smiles.

Am I that easy to read? I mean, really? First Caleb, then Robert, and now this guy, and he barely even knows me!

"How can you—"

"I can just tell. I mean, yeah, if you weren't, you wouldn't be on this rooftop right now. But if you were, you wouldn't even be in this part of the city. So what is it really?"

I gulp, swallowing too loudly. I could see him suppressing a smile again. And I just shake my head, letting my hair cover my face as I turn back towards the city. "I was born in Abnegation, I was born _for _this, so I stayed. As simple as that…"

"I don't think it is," he takes out one hand from his pocket and turns, now facing me, and pushes himself from the wall. He rocks from side to side as he keeps letting his body fall to the side, but pushes back up again. "You decide to stay… 'for your family', and then you spend the next years of your life regretting, wondering what you're missing out on, and the next thing you know, you're miserable about the decision you made that _unfortunate _day when I was 16. Am I right, so far?"

I actually laugh at him. Here was the guy who just left Dauntless, telling me I would regret not transferring there.

"Well, it's just been a few days, but, yes, so far… sort of. Because the mere fact," I turn to face him and point at him then myself, "that you're here right now, having this conversation with me, is enough justification that I may not be missing out on that much." I turn my head to the side and smile at him with squinted eyes.

He breaks into a grin and nods. "Well, that is true… But still, trust me, you _are _missing out. There are just some things that only the Dauntless can give you." He looks out at the city again and, this time, the train passes by. I look at him, just to see his reaction, but he had that façade of a serious, nonchalant guy again, as if he wasn't bothered. But his eyes sort of said something else entirely. I feel like he had this sudden urge to jump off this building and then fly up onto that train or something.

I was about to say something, but he beat me to it.

"What's your name?"

I stared at him for a while, shrugging off the questions in my head before I registered his. I shook my head and asked him to repeat what he just said.

"Your name… what was it?"

"Um…" I don't know why I hesitate, really. But for some reason…

"Think about it. You don't get to pick again," he says, a faint smile curling his lips.

"Tris," I say firmly.

"Tris," he nods and repeats, grinning. He looks down at the ground, as if looking for something, as he sets his hand on my back. "Welcome to Dauntless."

"What?"

"Nothing. Well, maybe… maybe if meet again," he says, a smug look on his face as he looks back at me.

He crosses over behind me and reappears at my other side, stopping in front of the small platform where the ladder is anchored over. "I assume you can help yourself down?" he says as he gives me one last glance before he turns around and sort of hops down onto the ladder.

I look over the edge and see him jump down from the ladder. "Wait!" I call out to him, and he pauses, his hand still on the ladder. "What's your name?"

He puts a hand on his forehead, shielding his eyes from the sunlight, and I could see a sideward grin on his face. "It's Four!" and he runs away, sprinting through the alley as he glances back at the other direction every few strides.

I wonder if I misheard him.

Then clattering sounds, like sticks hitting steel and iron, growing louder along with footsteps disrupt my thoughts. I immediately walk over to the ladder and, after taking a deep breath, crouch down and hold onto the ladder, feeling for the rung of the ladder and continue climbing down.

Just as I dropped down on the ground, I see a set of feet to my right, a little past the dividing wall. I stand up and am suddenly face to face with a blonde, curly-haired boy who just turned the corner and looks probably just as shocked as I did.

It was Robert, and in his hands were two long, slender wooden sticks. He drops them when he realizes who I was, though.

"What are you doing here?" we ask in unison. Then we laugh.

"Come on, let's just go back," and he puts his arm over my shoulders, pulling me along through the alley.

I don't talk for a while, but tease anyway, "Where you playing over there, or did I just miss the drum set?"

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

Haaa! Crappy ending. :P R&R, thanks guys!


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